Got up 6.50am. Still felt very low. Arrived at Centre, 8.55am. Most of the others were already sitting around drinking tea and chatting. I couldn't bring myself to get involved in the conversation so I just silently sipped my cup of Camomile tea.

At around 9.20am. we all went into the session room where we would talk about how we felt last night and describe our dreams. I was the first to speak, and as soon as I opened my mouth, I completely broke down. All the awful sadness and feelings of never having been supported in my life just came pouring out. Once I'd recovered, I went on to describe how I felt last night and remembered parts of my dream.

The first session started just before 10.00am. David had a fairly powerful experience this time and again we were the last couple to leave at 1.40pm. Lunch time was a lively event as everyone was very chatty.

The afternoon session began at 2.30pm. I was hoping for a quieter afternoon than the one I'd had yesterday. I enjoyed the relaxation exercises, then allowed my breathing and the music to guide me into my unknown destination:-

"From around ten minutes into the breathing I am beginning to feel pins and needles in my arms and feet. This is soon followed by the sensation of a weight across my upper tummy which soon fades away. Like yesterday, I've lost all sense of time, but it seems about three quarters of an hour later that I'm beginning my journey. My head begins to rock from side to side and I now feel an enonnous energy building up inside me. It explodes in a gut- wrenching scream which sends me catapulting into my deepest inner self.

I'm back in my mother's womb again, wriggling my way down the long black tunnel.

Once more she flexes her muscles and bars my exit, leaving me terrified with no fucking help as I struggle to find my way into the outside world. After the long battle, an uncontrollable anger begins to surface and I repeatedly scream "let me out" at the top of my lungs.

There's a sudden respite from my suffering. I see myself as this tiny baby at one end of a greyish-black tunnel which seems to have a brilliant yellow light shining at the other end. I'm almost hypnotised by its gentle pulsating rhythm, and moving my limbs in slow motion, I'm now in a state of complete and utter ecstasy. This blissful state remains with me for some time, perhaps ten or fifteen minutes.

All too soon I return to the despair of having to complete my unaided journey from the womb. By now my body is all over the place and I'm yet again aware of cushions being placed around me. I arch my back, which by now is hurting me, then later proceed to punch the air with clenched fists. I'm so fucking angry that my screams are deafening. I've made my way towards the top of the mattress now, where, on my knees, I repeatedly pound the cushions like crazy, while still continuing to roar with sheer frustration. Realising I don't have the energy to be born, I admit defeat and curl up on the mattress where I completely let myself go and cry my heart out.

Someone covers me with my blanket and I continue rocking myself while sucking the back of my hand. At some stage I fall into an exhausted sleep. When I open my eyes, Lynn is lying beside me gently stroking my hand. Still distressed, I describe my experience, and as I'm doing so, I begin to feel a little better. I tell her I have no discomfort in my body, but she remains with me for a while longer. After Lynn leaves, I pull the blanket up over my head and refuse to talk with David. I have chosen to comfort myself so I just want to be left alone. By 6.00pm. I'm ready to go, leaving one other couple behind me".

During the break I was feeling very sensitive, so not very talkative, though I did join in some of the conversations.

I drew my Mandala showing a tunnel-like image with a tiny baby at one end and a beautiful ball of yellow light at the other. Went back into session room at 6.30pm.

Once again I was moved by the total openness of all the participants, their willingness to share what was obviously for them, very painful events in their lives. My own recall was still very restrained, deliberately omitting the most profound details of my inward journey and also still unable to express my feelings at that precise moment.

Arrived home, 8.45pm. I didn't feel anything as bad as I did last night, so after having some left-over dinner, I talked for a while. Following a nice cup of Camomile tea, I went to bed around 12.00am.